Resident Evil Pretty Pony
by random spazz
Summary: This is what would happen if Leon and others ended up trying out My little pony. Is rated M for gun use and languige.


Full credits go to my awesome friend Travis R. Beam who wrote this random story.

Mario :Mama mia it'sa time for another episode of the My Little Pony Tryouts were all sorts of interesting people try to become the next My Little Pony today's contestants are Leon S. Kennedy, Ada Wong, and of course Jack krauser from the ever so popular gamming serious resident evil! they will have to compete in 4 random surprise test!!! let's get started.

krauser: I'm not wearing a pony outfit

leon: I'm gonna agree with krauser I'm not wearing a pony outfit

mario: u have to wear the costume its part of being a pretty pony!

leon: um...no I'm not wearing it

krauser: yeah I refuse want me to snap your little neck u short obese bastard

mario: imma sowwie there please don't hurt the host u still have to wear the costume

ada: even I'm not wearing the stupid costume

leon:yeah I don't agree with these two on anything else but I must agree here no pony costume for me

mario: *grabs giant mushroom and eats it turns huge*PUT THE FUCKING COSTUMES ON NOW!!!!

leon: *un holsters his pistol and shoots mario* there now who is gonna wear the costume?

mario:*floats off screen as he often does when he dies*

ada: great now we have no host y the hell u go and kill him for?

krauser: yeah man I mean I tried to take over the world and turn all mankind into mutant freaks and I think that was a little low man come on

leon: shut the fuck up I'm running this show by the way we need a new host

*luigi walks in with a mini gun*

luigi: youa killed mya brother die u son of a bitches!!!!!!

luigi: *tries to start shooting not realizing that he forgot to put any bullets in it*what the hella isa wronga with this stupid thing

krauser: it would help if u had bullets in it I mean I'm no expert...wait I am anyhow yeah it would help to have some bullets

leon: yup bullets need them

ada: I agree

lugi:ill be right backa *walks away*

20 minutes later

krauser: so why the fuck are we even here at a my little gay ass pony thing?

leon: that's a great question I have not got a clue in fact I don't even really remember what happened this morning in fact I don't remember anything

ada: um yeah me either

leon: ahh probably nuttin anyhow anyone want a cookie?

krauser: me me me me me me give me a cookie b4 I cut your throught open

leon: you know we coulda still been friends b4 u tried the hole world domination evil twisted thing going on

krauser: u know what I don't get

leon: what?

krauser: u killed me in Resident evil 4 remember?

leon: oh I did didn't I huh how are u here again??

krauser: yeah wow this is weird

ada: I feel left out of this conversation...

krauser and leon: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH

ada: gosh...alright....douchebags

40 minutes later

ada: why don't we just leave?

leon: um...why didn't we think of that?

*luigi walks in with his mini gun this time loaded*

luigi: this timea I will killa you youa son of a bit......*he hits the floor with a thud

leon: reholsters his gun* what he was gonna kill us I had to make the first move god damn

ada: dude are u on your period or something?

leon: no

krauser: wow man I've never seen u this brutal what's wrong

leon: man I haven't been laid in like 3 years so lay the fuck off

krauser: aww dude that sucks balls I mean I have a deformed arm and like I still got a lady back home and wait a minute aren't we still on this game show thing?

ada: I think so but I'm not sure really idk, I'm enjoying watching u to be a couple of dumbass's

*a bright yellow pony with devil looking horns atop his head walks into the room*

* the room turns black*

*three spotlights turn on leon ada and krauser and one on the evil looking pony*

pony: *clears his throught* *starts to speak in a extremely deep and rough voice* you three have been selected to be the leaders of our Little Pony agency

leon: what the fuck?? little pony agency??

pony: yes Little Isolated Tittie Town Evenly for Porn stars n you

ada: what the fuck?! I thought u were children's toys?

pony: had the hole world fooled my plan was going great until the stupid build a bear came in town and ruined me I now have nothing more than a few ponys and I need you to be my new stars

krauser: whoa whoa whoa u want us to fuck ponys? what wait whoa this is like holy shit wow\

pony: we have beautiful ponys that will do anything for you

leon: *shoots the pony* no fucking way trying to get me in a pony costume and trying to get me to fuck a pony in the same day? what the fuck? no way no no no no no no no what the fuck can I not lead a normal fucking life if it's not a zombie invasion it's a top secret mission or pony sex what the fuck did I do the deserve this shit why am I rambling on about my crappy life!!

krauser: man calm do.....*alarm sounds*....what is that

leon: pfft who know Winnie the pooh probably wants a blow job now

ada: no no no look!

*hundreds of ponys all loaded down with guns start marching in the room*

leon: see what I mean see look at this shit!

krauser: I think we can take them

ada: *grabs lugi's mini gun* yes we can!!

ponys: halt halt halt ready aim fire

ada:*starts mowing down the ponys*

ponys: no no no stop!!! what the fuck!! stop!!

ada: no u sobs are tryin to kill us

ponys: no no no its leons birthday!!! this is a surprise party!!!

leon: what the fuck!!! god dammit what the fuck!!! ada stop shooting already

ada: um...should we trust them?

leon: yeah..I guess

krauser: wow this is truly fucked up even by my own standards

leon: grabs a pony in a choke hold* who set all this up! tell me I can easily kill u right now slowly!

pony: cough....presidents...cough.....daughter....

leon: ashley dammit ashley...I hate that bitch!*accidently snaps pony's neck and drops him* ehh its better for him

*ashley walks in*

Ashley: leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!! leon!!leo....*she falls to the floor*

leon: say my name again bitch I fuckin dare you ill kill u next time

krauser: ooooooook leon u have officially become a sociopath good job buddy good job

ada: *slowly walking towards the nearest exit*bye bye leon bye krauser bye ashley I'm.....I'm....going to leave now.....*runs out door*

krauser: so what now....

leon: I don't know think she'll be ok?

krauser: ehh she should be u didn't hit her that hard shoulda used your hand though the butt of your gun is kinda brutal

*ada runs back in*ZOMBIES!!!!

leon: fucking great on my birthday*un-holsters gun* here we go again......


End file.
